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Summer Silly Season

Summer Silly Season

We all like to assert our individuality. We like to have something about us that is unique, interesting or quirky. Some men will walk about nonchalantly sporting inadvisable summer shorts whilst wearing socks with their sandals. Other men would sooner bleed copiously from their sandal-chaffed feet than do such a thing.

This is why, when driving around, we see British cars festooned with wholly inappropriate trinkets and additions completely out of keeping with our traditional reserved values. This is the driver or owner asserting his or her right to be different or cutting edge.

It is said that you can tell a persons occupation by the colour of the car they drive. To a certain extent this could well be true as it is borne out by insurance company stats. Hairdressers favour purple cars – which seems obvious – whilst florists apparently select orange ones. This probably also applies to tanning salon owners. Accountants favour grey cars. Sadly there are no details on the preferences of politicians – as far as cars are concerned anyway.

So colour doesn’t make a motorist as individual as they may think but rather a member of the employment group they belong to. So they go further with the embellishments. Some manufacturers have even offered twinkly lights in the headlining of the car’s interior, presumably to emulate the night sky. It just looks over-the-top and distracting. The only really useful thing about it is that it could bring a whole new showbiz dimension to, erm, nocturnal activities.LIGHTS3 Summer Silly Season

Being a proud parent is one thing but publishing the fact all over your car is quite another. Americans are fond of this in the form of bumper stickers. “Proud Parents of a J. F. Long Honor Student” shrieks one. “Proud Parent of the Child Who Beat Up Your Honor Student,” announces another. Eventually, the poor mortified offspring become more notorious than Honey Boo Boo Child of trailer park and TV fame. Before you think otherwise – it is happening here. People, a ‘Baby On Board’ sticker is sufficient; she is not a little princess! There”s only one car that carry a “Little Prince On Board” and actually mean it.

Then of course there are the body parts. Eyelashes on headlights or Santa’s legs or a set of fingers poking out of the boot lid come to mind; but it’s not just car buyers – manufacturers are keen on pointless novelties too. On a couple of their convertible models one company offers a neck heater in the head restraint. It”s just a novelty and like all novelties interest palls after about five minutes. They might work but why would you pay for such a thing? Wear a scarf. These options don’t make the buyer individual they just make them slightly less wealthy than they were.

Why bother with it all? Punks wanted to be individuals but they became so numerous as to negate the very thing they were trying to achieve. The clothes became a uniform. That’s what happens. A hot hatch with a body kit is just a daft hot hatch. Don’t let any of it bother you. Just save your money. Don”t try and buy individuality – just be yourself. That’s all most of us can hope for.

This post was written by:

- who has written 474 posts on Motor Blogger.

Geoff is a freelance writer and photographer.

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bG9nZ2VyX0xvZ28uanBnIjtpOjI7czo3MzoiaHR0cDovL21vdG9yYmxvZ2dlci5jby51ay93cC1jb250ZW50L3dvb191cGxvYWRzLzMtTW90b3JfQmxvZ2dlcl9Mb2dvLnBuZyI7fTwvbGk+PGxpPjxzdHJvbmc+d29vX3ZpZGVvX2NhdGVnb3J5PC9zdHJvbmc+IC0gQXV0byBOZXdzPC9saT48L3VsPg==